Christian craziness at its finest – molesting the minds of innocent children

Many years ago, my friend tried to adopt a little stray dog that had wandered into his back yard, and had taken-up residency in his tool shed. This dog was extremely thin and mangy, and it had the worst odor of any other dog that I had ever seen before, and this odor was so bad, that I just can’t even begin to find the words, to even describe, just how bad that this dog smelled – my friend had even tried giving this dog a bath, but within minutes, this dog’s bad odor had returned, and had returned with an avenges even (this was simply the most mangy, and the most awful smelling dog that I had ever seen before).



My friend even tried feeding this dog. He had placed a large bowl, filled with dog food, right outside of the tool shed – but days went by, and this dog hadn’t eaten any of the food – it had seemed that this dog had simply disappeared. Then one night, my friend and I were cleaning some fish that we had caught, on a fishing trip the day before on a table in his back yard. And by the time that we had finished cleaning all of the fish, there was a big pile of fish heads and fish guts lying on the ground next to the table – then out of nowhere, comes this mangy and smelly little dog – snarling and growling, and foaming at the mouth. It then runs over to this big pile of dead fish parts, and then starts devouring the fish heads. And then after it had finished eating all of the fish heads, it then ran off and disappeared again.


Then over the next few weeks, my friend started finding the dead carcasses of small animals lying all over his back yard – there were dead rats, dead squirrels, dead cats, and even dead dogs - and all with parts of their heads missing.


Then one evening, and as my friend and I were sitting on the grass in his back yard, and sipping on some cold ones – out of nowhere, came this mangy and smelly little dog. It walks over to my friend and starts sniffing the back of my friends head – it then starts snarling and growling, and foaming at the mouth, and it then starts snapping at the back of my friends head, who then pulls out his pistol, and shoots this dog dead. We then dug a hole in the ground, and bury the thing. A few days later, my friend show’s me what looked like a large molehill, and it was right over the spot where we had buried this dog. We then both got shovels and started digging, but to our surprise, this dead dog was missing – my friend thought that maybe it wasn’t dead when we had buried it? And that it had simply awoke and dug itself out of the earth?


This case of the missing dead dog, had been a very troubling mystery for me for years – that was until last night, when I had watched this video -- at 5:50 in this video, this crazy and delusional, sick bitch, said to these children: “can I tell you a secret, don’t laugh if I tell you this, do you promise not to laugh – I know some kids, that have prayed for their dead animals, and they came back to life.”



Mystery solved ~ and I bet that I even know now, just what had happened to this dog’s first owner: poor kid!




Any reasonable and halfway intelligent adult and with a working brain (that is, a brain that hasn’t been halfway eaten by a Zombie-Dog – or hasn’t been halfway rotted away by Zombie-Jesus) can fully understand that my Zombie-Dog story is simply sarcasm – it’s simply a made up story – it’s simply make believe. And I would never write and post a story like this, anywhere that children the ages of the ones in this video might find it and read it.





To steal a quote from Vjack over at Atheist Revolution: “It really is remarkable, isn't it? It would be so easy to suggest that Ms. Daniels is in dire need of psychiatric treatment, but I think the more interesting question is how many others inhabit this bizarre world in which she apparently lives.”


Well, here’s one even crazier and deluded Christian bitch that we can all try on for size – and I can finally go and throw up now!




John

Changing old habits – part 2

I had no problem at all understanding and relating with the dynamics of the issues that Jane and her family were going through, as I sat there listening to Jane telling me about all of the problems that her niece was having because of her drug addiction, and her telling me about how much of a negative impact that her niece’s problems, where having on the rest of her family. The main differences in our two stories, were how we had become drug addicted, and the impacts that our addictions had on both us and our families.



In the case of her niece - there was a drug fad that had started back in the mid 1980s and early 90s, and after the introduction of crack cocaine. Some of the marijuana smoking teens and young adults, had started sprinkling crack cocaine on top of their marijuana, and then smoking the two substances together (this was called smoking primo). And some of them, even started melting both crack cocaine and black tar heroin together, and then smoking that mixture together with the marijuana – this would then sometimes lead to cocaine or heroin addiction, and sometimes like in the case of Jane’s niece, she became addicted to both heroin and crack cocaine. In my case, what led me to the path of drug addiction was the excessive use of pain medications after I had suffered a lower back injury, and had received bad advice – real bad advice from the doctors that were treating me. After about five years of suffering with chronic back pain, and injuring and reinjuring my lower back, it was then suggested (recommended) that I have back surgery, and have 3 of the disks in my lower back fused together. This sounded real great at first, until after I had done some research – not only was there no guaranty that this would end my pain – fusing the 3 disks in my back, would have also severely limited the range of motion in my back – I decided: fuck having this surgery done big-time!


The only other option left was to continue treating the pain. So I simply continued treating the pain with nonsteroidal antiinflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), and narcotic pain meds; and hoping that just like every other time before, that the pain would eventually go away. Months turned into years, but I was still taking the drugs and still suffering from the pain.


Then I had an event that sent me to the ER, the NSAIDs had caused my stomach to start bleeding. The combination of the NSAIDs, and the weak narcotics had been working extremely well in controlling my levels of pain – but now, because this event had been somewhat life threatening, my doctor stopped prescribing the NSAIDs, and he then increased the dose and the strength of the narcotics that I was taking – towards the end of my treatment, and before my doctor had retired, I was having difficulty filling all of the prescriptions that he was writing for me (he was giving me prescriptions for 30 days worth of 4 different narcotics every week). I ended up going to 4 different pharmacies each week; I was visiting at least 10 different pharmacies a month, just to get all of my drugs. By the time that my doctor had retired, my life was a real mess, and I had already started obtaining most of the drugs that I was taking, from a friend of a friend’s sister, who was also a methamphetamine dealer (drugs like oxycodone, oxycontin and other powerful narcotic pills, trade just like cash in the illicit drug world).


About one year after my doctor had retired; I was now spending between 600-800 hundred dollars a week on narcotic pain pills; and I was now totally depended on these drugs; and I was totally unable to function without these drugs.


The funny thing about all of this was, that everyone who was around me, and who knew what I was doing, could all see that I was getting myself into big trouble….that is, everyone except for me – just like being under the influence of any other intoxicating and mind altering substance, one’s perception of reality becomes seriously distorted (I thought that everything was going great, that was until my supply of available pills had been delayed for 5 days).


24 hours without popping pills was not really a big deal – the longest that I had gone without pills in the past was about 48 hours, and no problem at all. However, this time, on day 3 when I awoke, I found myself in full drug withdrawal, and I had never felt as bad as I was feeling, ever before in my life (this has to be the closest that one can get to being in the imaginary place that the Xtians call “hell”).

Later that day, I called my dealer and told her what I was going through; the first thing that she said to me was: “I told you that you were becoming a junky, I warned you.” She then offered to make some calls to see if she could find something that would help me until the pills arrived. She then called me back about ten minutes later, and told me to come over to her house. When I arrived at her house I was sick as “hell,” she introduced me to a Mexican guy that I had already known for many years, and I had also known many other members of his family – however, I never knew that they were a family of heroin dealers – she then handed me a syringe half filled with a brown liquid, and said “sorry baby, but you’re sick, and this is the best that I can do for you right now.”


As I sat there holding this syringe in my hand while talking to our Mexican friend, I learned that his family had been involved in the heroin trade for over 20 years, and that they were involved in every facet from growing the poppies to manufacturing the heroin; and that they only wholesaled large quantities of the drug. He then assured me that I was holding the best heroin that money can buy, and that I didn’t have to worry about that “flesh eating shit.” I had no clue what he was talking about, but I was so sick that I was almost willing to try anything just to feel better.


Still sick as “hell,” and sweating and shaking, I found a blood vessel in my hand, and inserted the needle, and then started injecting this shit into my body. The rush was almost instantaneous, I stopped sweating and shaking; and within 5 minutes, I was feeling better than I had felt in many years. I then looked at the syringe (still sticking out of my hand) and said out loud: “what the fuck, so this is heroin – where have you been all of my life.” I felt as if I had fallen in love again, and for the first time in a longtime; and this shit was a hell of a lot cheaper than the pills that I had been buying; I could buy enough of this shit to last me for a year or more, if I wanted; I had just found the answers, for all of my problems…or so I had thought.


The next 2 years or so just seemed to fly by; I had managed to hide my addiction from my family, and all but my closest friends (who all thought that I had lost my mind….and I had lost my mind!). It was in about the 30th month of my heroin use that my life started falling apart. Before I had managed things by prioritizing the most important things, and then shifting everything else that I had to do, to a more convenient time – the only problem was that my addiction, had started taking priority ahead of most of the other stuff in my life, including all of my main enterprises.


In short, what I was trying to get Jane to understand is that it doesn’t matter how one becomes a drug addict – in the end its all still the same….and what does matter the most is the choices that one makes after they recognize the fact that they have a problem.






The road to recovery from any type of drug addiction can be a long and tough one. And if one doesn’t have tens of thousands of dollars to spend on a rational treatment program, then that road to recovery can extremely long, and most often than not, one will simply find they’re going in circles and ending up right back at the place that they started from – and I’m not all that convinced that many of the expensive treatment programs, are all that better than the irrational ones are. But in the end, what it all really all comes down to is the willingness of the person to change their behavior, and being provided with the right tools to make the change.


The biggest challenge to my recovery was accepting the fact that I had a problem. The next problem that I had facing me was the fact that I didn’t even have a clue about how to began to address my addiction; moreover, I still wasn’t willing to admit to my family that I had a drug problem, and least of which, tell them that I had a heroin addiction. Then the first mistake that I made, was asking the advice of another addict while we were waiting to score some heroin from a dealer – I simply asked him, how in the hell does a person get off of heroin. He looked at me as if he was dumbfounded by my question, and then he replied: “just go into treatment – I’ve been in treatment more than a dozen times, and it has always worked for me – and it will work for you too” he then gave me the phone number to the local detoxification center; he then said: “just give them a call, and they’ll even do all of the paperwork for you.”


It took me a few more months before I made that phone call – I believe that I just couldn’t get past the part about him going into treatment more than a dozen times, and yet, he was still using heroin??? However, nothing in this world of drug addiction seemed very rational to me at the time.


The Detoxification Center:


The staff at the detoxification center was extremely polite and very professional. And despite the fact that they all claimed to be Christians, for the most part, most kept their proselytizing to a minimum. The place was divided into two parts – one part was for “medical detoxification,” and the other part provided a safe place for the addicts to await placement in a treatment program – the staff did an excellent job of finding placement in programs for most of the addicts, considering the limited resources from which they had to work with. And just like the guy who had suggested going to this place as a starting point for my recovery, I was also in and out of this place many times before I was finally assigned to a “treatment program.”


The Treatment Program:


The day that I walked into this program, I had the highest expectations; that I was going learn about all of the new science in our current understanding of chemical dependency; that I would have all of my 40 plus questions about the effects that opium derived drugs have on the body and the brain answered; and moreover, I believed that I would leave this place, armed with at least some kind of new found knowledge, which would help lead me to the path of recovery from my addiction. However, in the 89 days that I stayed at this place, the only thing in which I encountered that could even be considered, as even remotely intuitive in dealing with the issues of addiction, was an old video of a priest talking about alcoholism, and based on information that was from the 1940s and 50s. After the video had ended, a staff member asked if anyone had any questions about what the priest had talked about in the video, no one raised their hands. The only question that popped into my mind was: “I wonder just how many little boys had this guy fucked in the ass in his career as a priest?” but I also remained silent as well.


However, what I was told about drug addiction, was that drug addiction is a “disease,” and that drug use is a moral issue, and that the one suffering from the drug addiction, can never be cured of the “disease” of addiction – and that only some higher-power (Jesus Christ) can treat this disease, and that one can only pray this disease into remission through belief in a higher-power, again: Jesus – they were using superstition, ignorance and stupidity, as the only means of “treating” a very real and serious medical condition. And I was told, that the only way that I can ever be free from my drug use, was by accepting Jesus Christ as my higher-power, and as my Lord and my Savior (I thought that up to that point in my life, that I had seen and heard almost everything; however, at that moment, I realized that my State Government and my tax dollars, had sent me to see a pack of delusional fucking Witchdoctors, for the treatment of my chemical dependency).

Needles to say, I didn’t learn anything useful in this drug treatment program at all – and I soon fell right back into my drug use again. And within a few months, I was right back at the same detoxification center again, and then again – and then one more final time before I realized that I was simply repeating the same old bullshit over and over, and that I was somehow expecting that something would change (magic, higher-powers, and Jesus are not real). I realized that it was me that needed to change – I knew that there just had to be a rational way for treating chemical dependency; and although, I have many friends who are doctors, scientists and other highly educated professionals, but to my surprise, none of them, knew jack-shit about chemical dependency and drug addiction.


Then one of the doctors that I knew, just happened to mention the problems that I was dealing with to another doctor: and according to my friend, the doctor instantly replied: “I know just the person who can help your friend.” So it took about 6 weeks before he could setup a meeting. The day of the meeting, my friend who is doctor with his own office and practice, hired a doctor from a temp agency to cover for him, so that he could personally take me to meet this person. The person that we were meeting that day was a retired doctor from the State of New York, and who was also an addiction medicine specialist.


As I was explaining my problem to him, he cut me off and asked me if I was currently using anything other than heroin – I then told him that the only drug that I was using was heroin, and that I had been using it for about 3-4 years. He then said that was all he needed to know. He then explained why I had failed in all of my other attempts at rehabilitation. He then asked my friend about my background and my level of education, my friend replied: he’s a scientist. He then went on to explain how he had got into addiction medicine – he said that he had been contracted by the U.S. Military go to Asia and help treat military personal who had become addicted to heroin while serving in the Vietnam War – he said that the military was having such a big problem in finding effective ways of treating addiction, and that they didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of all of these heroin addicts returning back to the States, so the government started a policy of not allowing the addicts to return home from Asia until they were cleaned up.


He then said that all of the other methods that they were trying to use in getting these men clean, had all been just a big failure – like AA, and all of that other hocus-pocus, superstitions and delusional religious fucking bullshit had failed – and the failure rate was well over 90 percent until we got over there with real science and real medicine – he then said:”we turned a 90 percent failure rate, into a 95 percent success rate in just a little over 6 months – and how do you think that they thanked us for all of our effort, they made us sign an agreement not to talk about any of this, once we returned State side” (at that moment, I started crying uncontrollably, I’m not really sure what had caused this emotional outburst, other than the fact that I had finally found someone who I believed could help me).


He then explained how the program works, and how with the help of my friend that I could do the whole thing as a type of self-help thing.

In less than 8 hours that day, I had learned more about heroin addiction than I had learned in the whole of this fucking nightmare. And now, I fully understood why I had failed every time that I had tried to get myself clean, and why Jane’s niece, and why almost every other type of drug user will fail using the first methods that I described. Although it took me almost 2 weeks to read and reread the material that he had gave me, before I fully understood the process, it’s really quite simple – using drugs like heroin, cause changes in the chemistry of the body. There are compounds that can be easily made, that will rapidly cause the reversal of these changes.


I then told Jane that no amount hoping, wishing or praying was going to help her niece turn her life around. And most important – the niece has to want to take the first step towards her own recovery. The main issue in dealing with heroin addiction is the fact that most addicts don’t live long enough to recover from their addictions – and the niece has now been using drugs for about twice as long as I did.


I also explained to Jane the sobering statistics that had really opened up my own eyes – less than 10 percent of the addicts who partake in these superstition based treatment programs, manage to keep their sobriety for the first year – and the ones who manage to keep their sobriety for the first five years, is less than 1 percent – and more than half of those who have managed to keep their sobriety for 5 years or longer, have done so by making their sobriety the paramount facet of their lives (this is not a rational way of recovering from an addiction – but if works for them….then good for them).


I believe that the hardest part of rationally recovering from a drug addiction for Jane to understand, was when she asked me what I was doing to remain drug free – I simply told her that I was doing absolutely nothing; that I had come to realize that only I had the power to end my addiction – and that I had simply made the choice never to abuse drugs again. And that everything that she had been told about drug addiction by those ignorant superstitious morons was simply just a big crock of fucking bullshit.


She then asked me to have a talk with her niece – I reluctantly agreed, and I did in fact talk with her niece (coming in part 3 of this story).



Today, I have been completely drug free for almost 6 years, and I have also learned simple back stretching and strengthening exercises that have been keeping my back pain free for nearly 10 years.






Knowledge combined with rationality, critical thinking and reasoning, will always prevail over religion, superstition, stupidity and ignorance – simply because they are all just different forms of the same thing.






John

Changing old habits – part 1

Earlier this year, and as the date of the “rapture” was fast approaching, I wrote in a post about how I had become a little concerned over whether or not any of the Christians that I personally knew as friends, had fallen for Harold Camping’s latest of delusional “rapture” cons. One of the friends that I called, who I will call Jane for this post, was extremely shocked over hearing from me. Jane’s sister had told her that she had heard that I had overdosed on drugs, and that I had died about 10 years ago (after joking with her, that I was calling her from “heaven,” I then told her that only part of that story was in fact true – obviously, I am still very much alive, if I am calling you on the phone). Our conversation ended on sort of a happy note – she was very happy to hear from me, and I was happy that she was still around and doing well; however, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t find anyone that I knew, who was even entertaining Harold Camping’s “rapture” bullshit – I was looking for stuff to blog about, and a new story to add to a book that I am currently writing.


Then a few weeks later, as I was checking my voicemail messages on a phone that I seldom use, I found an assortment of new messages from Jane – as I was sitting there in my car listening to her messages, I started wondering just how in the hell she had gotten my phone number. I didn’t remember giving her any of my phone numbers, or her even asking for my phone number, and I thought that my phone was setup to block my number from caller ID?

In one of her messages, she said: “if this is the John who rose from the dead, call me back, Jane.”

Just as I was deleting the last one of her numerous massages, my phone beeped – it was an incoming call from a blocked phone number. So I answered the call, it was Jane – she didn’t even say hello, she started the conversation accusing me of avoiding her calls. I then explained that I seldom even use the phone that she was calling me on, and that I only check for messages about once a week or so, or if I am expecting someone to call.


As she started into her next rant, I realized that I had left the air conditioning on from earlier that day when it was hot, but it was now night, and the air was freezing cold. And for some reason, I said out loud: “man, this fucking AC is freezing my balls off.” Up to that point in “our” conversation, she really hadn’t responded to anything that I had said, but she decided to respond to my freezing outburst.


She replied: “I wish that I was there with you, so that I could warm up your freezing balls” – followed with a deep chuckle.


She then asked me if I could have a look at her car’s AC, she then said that it had quit working last summer about a month after her car’s warranty had expired. I reluctantly answered: sure, and we then made an appointment to meet a few days later.


I arrived about an hour early for our scheduled rendezvous; it wasn’t that I was really enthusiastic about seeing her again after more than ten years – I was more or less trying to decide if I truly wanted to see her again. Although I have known her for more than 30 years, and we had once been real good friends – she was also a part of a chapter in my life’s past, that I prefer to leave behind me. So instinctively, I decided to park about one block away from the location where we were meeting, and then walk back to the place, when I returned back on foot to the location, she drove right up to me, and asked me why I had left the parking lot where we were going to meet (she had arrived even earlier than I had, and she had already seen me).


As I stood there looking at her sitting in her car, she said: “you look almost the same as you did ten years ago” (I thought to myself, you sure as hell don’t look the same as you did the last time that I had seen you). It was at that moment that I realized that it had actually been almost 13 years since the last time that I had seen this woman. She then said: “you were just trying to be slick, weren’t you – you still think that you are so slick, don’t you – now get your ass into this car, boy.”


I then had her drive me back to where I had parked my car so that I could get my tools and start working on the problem that she was having with her car’s AC. I started by looking at the most likely causes – like a blown fuse, a missing belt.., etc. then I used a long wire to jump voltage to the clutch on the AC compressor – the AC came on and worked like a champ. In the end what I had found that had caused the problem, was that she had been pushing the AC switch so hard, that she had damn near pushed the switch through the dashboard (the switch had simply fallen apart). Luckily, I found all of the parts for the switch, and I was able to put it back together.


Her AC was now working again, and she was real happy. As I turned to get out of her car and leave, she said: “wait, wait, and let me pay you something.”


I replied: “no, that’s not necessary, that’s what friendship is all about, isn’t it?”


She then tried to hand me a one hundred dollar bill, and saying, take it, the shop was going to charge me 400 dollars! After I refused her hundred dollar offer, she then said: “well, at least let me give you fifty.” As I sat there silently deciding what my best exit strategy might be, she then grabbed me in sort of a hugging way (like being grabbed by a starving grizzly bear as food) and then she started tickling me – she then shoved the 50 dollars down the front of my pants (I thought, what in the hell does she think that I am – one of those male pole dancers at some damn striper club, or was she just making good on her offer to warm-up my balls?).


As I reached into my pants and started pulling out these bills that were wedged between my leg and my balls, and handing them back to her, she said: “well, at least let my buy you dinner. She then said with a wide grin on her face: “after we eat, we can go to my place and have some drinks, and talk for a while” – (I really used to like this girl, and years ago, I would have done her faster than a cat could lick its own ass; however, at that moment, I felt like that I had just finished wrestling with a 300 pound horny gorilla, and that I had won – I’ve just never been into the big ones).


I then told her that I had already eaten earlier, and that I had quit drinking a few months ago.


She replied: “damn, you don’t do any of that bad stuff anymore – you must have found Jayzus” – (at that moment, I felt like lying and saying: yes, I found Jesus, and that I had also joined the priesthood – so keep your hands off of me).

I then told her that I hadn’t found either “Jayzus” or “Jesus,” or any other fictional deities, and that the only thing that I had “found,” was a way of rediscovering me again.


She then got this real sad look on her face, and she started telling me about how her niece had started using drugs and alcohol at about the age of 16 and just how fucked up her life is today. She told me that her niece had been in and out of jails and drug treatment programs many times over the last 10 years, and that she had only managed to stay drug and alcohol free for short amounts of time, and only when she was attending church and working her 12 step AA/NA program. But then as soon as she stopped going to church and stopped attending her AA/NA meetings, within a few weeks, and just like clockwork, she would always start back using drugs and alcohol again. She then said that both her pastor and her AA/NA sponsor, had told her that her niece has a disease, which can only treated through “Jesus’ love,” and adherence to the 12 step program of AA/NA. So both Jane and her sister are currently trying to get the niece back into treatment again. 




She then asked me if I am still an atheist, then just how had I gotten myself off of drugs, and what was I doing today to stay drug free, and if I had any advice that might help her niece stop using drugs, and help her stay off drugs.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." Albert Einstein.






How I recovered from my addictions, and the advice that I gave Jane:

(To be continued in part 2 of this story).

This is only the second time that I have revealed this story to anyone. The first time was when I asked the advice of a friend if he thought rationality might help someone who carries the mind-virus recover from drug addiction. His only comment was: “John, you are a pussy – if I were in your shoes that day, I would have taken the 100 dollars – and I also would have fucked that fat bitch.”


I believe that he was just being evasive of the question that I asked???

We lead one to the path of reality:

Many years ago while attending a lecture on the subject of Astrophysics in the hall of local university; I met one of the most interesting Astrophysicists that I had met to date. The main subject of the speaker that evening was exploring why the observed rotation of the stars in some galaxies, didn’t seem to be following the laws of gravity contained in the Theory of Relativity. And at the close of the lecture, many of us started to mingle around the hall, and then breaking off into smaller groups. as I circulated around the small groups of scientists, while seeking clarification of one of the points that was leading to this new theory, while at the same time, I was trying to remain discreet as to not come off sounding like a complete moron, I found myself ending up in a debate with about 6 others over the subject of the Greek God(s).

I thought that at some point in the discussion, that I might be able to slip in my question, and without looking like a idiot – and as those who were engaged in the other debates started spilling outside of the hall, we all decided to head off to a nearby bar for drinks and to continue our discussion.



When our discussion resumed at the bar, I found this guy’s knowledge of Greek Mythology simply fascinating. You could name a Greek God, and this guy could tell you everything about that particular God, and even give you the timeline in Greek history. This guy had been involved in researching the connections between the old God(s) of Greek Mythology, and the New-God(s) of the desert, and their shared attributes for about 20 years – and the timeline of when these old God(s) of Greek Mythology, had began morphing into the new God(s) of the desert – including the new Jewish "God" in the bible, and his "son" "Jesus" came into being as well.


At some point in our conversation, one of the other guys in our group asked a simple but relevant question: he wondered just how many of those who proclaim to be Christians, actually understand that their entire religion evolved from mythology, including the God(s) from a whole host of other dead-religions? As we were all sitting there at the bar, while pondering his question, two other guys who seemed to have been overhearing our conversation while playing pool, slammed down their pool sticks on the on the pool table, and then they approached our group – one of them exclaiming: “what are you assholes saying, that my god isn’t real?” at this point, the bartender who had also been engaged in our conversation, and knew both of these guys by their first names, told both of them that they could either join in the conversation in a civil manner, return to their pool game, or get the fuck out of the bar. The one who had responded then said: ‘I’ll just leave then, before I start kicking some devil worshiping ass” – note; there was no mention of “Satan” or “Devils” at any time in our conversation?


The Christian, who remained, sat there listening intensively to our discussion, while the bartender explained that he had never even thought of doing this of type research, and he didn’t even know that the history of all those other 1000s of gods was even available. He then said that he had become interested enough to look into this matter himself.


Meanwhile, the pool playing Christian, who had joined in our discussion had become visible upset – he then exclaimed: “all of that stuff that was written about all of those other gods, was written by Satan to fool us into questioning whether or not Jesus is the one true god,” and he warned the bartender, that even doing that type of research, would mean that he would be questioning the truth of our one true god (Jesus). And that questioning would land him in hell.






I learned that night that you simply can’t logically debate reality with someone of religious faith when their only arguments come from emotions, and most are not even willing to look at real facts.


I ran into the bartender a few months later in a health-food and supplement store on the same AVE. as the bar was located. He thanked me and the others, for opening up his eyes to the reality that his Christian faith was based around nothing more than old stories being told as new and true stories – and that he now understands that there are no true gods - there are only true cods!


Have any of you had a similar experience – and would you try and engage in debate with someone as deluded as the pool playing Christian….I didn’t?

Most of my Christian friends are ”rapture” proof, how about yours?

Over the past few months, I have made it a point to call some of my longtime Christians friends. Some of these folks, I had not spoken with in many years – I had become concerned about my Christians friends, after hearing about all of the stories about how some Christians had been quitting their jobs and not paying their rent and mortgages because they had become convinced that they were about to take up a new residency in “heaven” with “Jesus;” and I wondered just how many of my friends had bought into this latest of rapture delusion?

Of the 4 of my Christian friends that I have talked with, only two of them had even heard about this May 21 date with “Jesus” (I started wondering if they had been living under a rock?). One of my friends stated that he had outgrown his childish beliefs in the Christian myth, and all of the silly magic – like virgins giving birth, and dead folks rising, and heaven and hell and the likes; however, he made it a point to tell me that he still believes in a “god” – just not the “god,” in the bible???

One of my friends who I had not spoken with in about 10 or 11 years, said that she had heard that I was dead, and that I had died over ten years ago (I guess that I should contact my Christian friends more often?). I joked with her and said that I had became a Christian about ten years ago, and that I had been a part of the pre-rapture program, and that I was taken up to heaven about a week ago, and that I was calling her from heaven to make sure that she was ready for her May 21 date with “Jesus.” The sad part of this story is the fact that at first, she believed me??? And she is not your garden variety, uneducated and ignorant Christian, she’s a School Teacher???


She told me that she didn’t really believe that “Jesus” was “coming back” on Saturday – but she then said: “you can never be 100 percent sure about these kinds of things either – no one knows the date, not even Jesus knows the date of his own return – so it’s always better to play it safe; so I’ll be praying extra hard this weekend.”


I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed that I couldn’t find a single one of my Christian friends, who were preparing for the May 21 “rapture.” However, that fact in and of its self, is the main reason why I consider these folks as my friends in the first place – I have always tried to distance myself from the more deluded Christians that I have known. I tried to explain to my Christian friend that she can in fact know the date of the rapture; and that the date of the real “rapture,” will be on the 12th of never. I told her that this latest of dates, of the hundreds of other rapture dates that folks were sure that the world would end, was derived from the mythical story of the “great flood” written in the buy-bull, and using some kind of weird math, and by a very mentally ill and deluded man.



The sad reality is the fact that some folks did in fact buy into this totally contrived and big load of horse-shit – there are those who carry this brain-rotting mind-virus of delusion, who stopped making plans for anything worldly post the May 21 “rapture.” They have in fact quit their jobs and stopped paying their rent and mortgage – some even sold their homes and used their life savings to buy space on billboards announcing the May 21 date of the “rapture.” Some have even been traveling for months now (whole families in tow) and spreading the “good news” of the coming “rapture” – some even taking their children out of school. And the sad reality is, on Sunday, some of these folks will have nothing to go back to – as they have sold everything that they owned.

As far as I know, most of my Christian friends will sail right through today’s “rapture” unaffected by this latest of Christian insanity – how about your Christian friends? Do you know anyone who fell for this “rapture” bullshit? And do we need new laws to protect those who carry this brain-rotting mind-virus of delusion from their own stupidity? And should Harold Camping be prosecuted? I’d be willing to bet that some of his willfully ignorant victims will be breaking out the pitchforks and the torches, and then heading for California!

My higher power stuffed sheep’s ass has returned :

Click on photo to enlarge

My higher power stuffed sheep’s ass is back on his job again after returning from a well deserved vacation, and again, he’s ready to do my biding. About a month ago, he warned me that something real funky had entered into the mix with this lottery thing, and not to play again until he sent me a sign – he returned last Sunday, and I won over 400.00 dollars that day. Then Monday as my friend and I were leaving a restaurant after eating lunch, and as we were driving down the road, my friend started complaining about the smell of burning Sulfur that had somehow entered into his car. About that same time, we both started hearing a sheep barking loudly, we both heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa,” and right in front of us, was one of the same store chains were I had purchased most of my other winning lottery tickets. So we pulled into the parking lot, parked and entered the store, and found the lottery vending machine – and at the same time, there was a guy pushing his shopping cart past me, and the front wheel on the cart started spinning around in circles and making a sound like a sheep barking, I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” So just like all of the other times before, I pulled two 20s out of my pocket – and by now, you already know the rest of the story!



My sheep is getting cleverer!


More to come!

Evolution gets Humped (violently)

TotemX is an extremely talented artist. This one is my second most favorite, my favorite is the miracle of birth.

What caused the earthquake and tsunami in Japan? It wasn’t your “God,” you fucking morons:

Our earth is very unique from all of the other planets in our solar system, and not just because it’s the only planet in the solar system which is known to support life. It’s unique because most of its core is comprised of extremely heavy elements that were forged within massive stars eons ago. These heavy elements, as well as the lighter elements, were all ejected into space after the former stars had died in massive explosions. One of the other things that make our earth unique, are that soon after the earth was formed, a large object (possibly another planet) collided with the earth and penetrated the earth right down to its core, which then ejecting about 1/3 of the total mass of the earth into outer space – this is believed to be how our moon was formed.



From its very beginning, the earth was a molten lifeless planet floating in space – for millions upon millions of years as the earth cooled somewhat, and as the earth was forming its outer crust, it was also being constantly bombarded with objects from space including asteroids and meteorites – it is believed that most of the water here on earth, was delivered via these impacts. From the very beginning, the earth has been a very violent and chaotic place for life to exist – we live on an ever changing planet; we live on the surface of a living planet floating on top of a sea of molten matter - one might say that the earth is simply a big furnace powered  by the radioactive decay of the recycled star matter from which the earth was formed. Our earth has been shaped and reshaped many times over the eons by these same forces, and these same forces will continue to change the earth for at least the next few billion years, until the time when our sun begins running out of fuel and starts expanding, at which time it will engulf the inner planets, including the earth (this might come as a comforting thought to some of us to know that some of the atoms, which comprise our own bodies today, may help fuel a future star – or that our atoms might even become a part of some other living creature someday in the future as well).


These same forces that have shaped our world as we see it today; are the same Forces which have driven the evolution of all life here on our planet. And life only exists today because we are currently living in a period of relative calm on an otherwise very violent and chaotic planet. The fact is that everything within the whole universe is constantly moving and changing – everything is headed somewhere, and nothing stays the same; everything is in constant motion; and the earth is simply a microcosm of the universe as a whole. Relevant to our own geological time, it’s easy for some of us to conceive, that everything within reality was made just for us, when in reality, we only exist as a consequence of our current geological time, and the fact that we haven’t had any major extinction level events since the last one which occurred 65 million years ago, that killed off the dinosaurs; although there have been many minor such events, and some of these events have even been catastrophic.




These same forces of nature which keeps everything in motion here on earth, including all of the continents (via continental drift) are the same forces that cause the earthquakes and volcanic eruptions – again, everything in the universe is in constant motion and going somewhere, with the exception of religion – for years, I have compared the beliefs of all three of the major religions, with those of the beliefs of the volcano theists, and anyone who believes that their "god" caused the recent earthquake in Japan, and killed tens of thousands people, and simply to show all of us none believers, just who is in charge – those sick, ignorant and deluded people, need to be institutionalized and treated for their mental illness – they are the ones who elect these same sick and deluded leaders, who believe that everything that happens here on earth, is the plan of some "god," and we are all simply along for the ride until "jesus" "returns." The Japanese leaders knew full well, that Japan is located in one of the most seismically active zones on the planet – and despite knowing this fact; they decided to roll the dice and build nuclear reactors anyway. If we can only learn one thing from these tragic events unfolding today in Japan, I hope that we will learn that we are impart in control of our own destiny, and if we don’t change this ignorant mindset that some "god" placed us all here on earth, simply to test our worthiness as ignorant and mindless sheep, and if we don’t start speaking out in opposition when our allies engage in such reckless activities as building nuclear reactors in these types of unstable areas – and if we don’t stop dictating our environmental policies based on a book of old deluded fairy tales, (god made a promise to an 800 year old man; so it’s Ok to keep pumping carbon into the atmosphere, and finding other ways of fucking up the planet because “jesus” will return soon, so it won’t matter anyway) then the only place where we will all be headed is to “hell” in a fucking hand basket!


Worshiping a god, who you believe causes earthquakes, is just as stupid and ignorant as volcano-theism.

Is there a gene for stupidity?

Can someone believe that a cosmic ghost, impregnated a young virgin girl with his son (or impregnated the young girl with himself, depending on which brand of this deluded story that one subscribes), and still be logical and reasonable in other facets of their lives?



I first asked this question in an article that I posted back in the 1990s, after reading a story about a child who had died, because their Christian parents had placed their faith in “jesus,” instead of seeking medical care for their sick child – and after seeing the interview of the parents, and seeing just how ignorant and deluded that they were, I also wrote in the same article, that I wouldn’t even expect that people who live that far from reality, to be logical and reasonable, in any other facets of their lives either.


It only took about 15 minutes after I had posted the article, before the death threats started pouring into my website, along with the comments from many other Christians, proclaiming that not all Christians are as stupid as those Christian parents, in the case of their sick child. I believed at the time, that most of these Christian readers, simply had thought that I was making these statements about all Christians in general – and I was not; and I had even posted another article, further explaining my position, and where I was coming from with my post, and asking them, why they were just attacking me, and not even addressing the real issue of my post – and then the subject of most of the comments changed. Most started defending the parent’s rights to do whatever they thought was best for their child, and that it was none of my fucking business, how Christian parents raise their children.

The main point of my second post on this subject, was the question why is it that most Christians, are so unwilling to criticize any behavior which is labeled as being Christian, and even when that behavior, results in the death of a child. Some of these folks, even tried to convince me, that the child’s death had nothing to do with the actions of the parents, or that it was simply the will of “god” (I wondered why they would believe that a “god,” would want a child to be born, just so they can develop diabetes, and then die because the parents refused medical treatment for the child – that’s god’s will – WTF!!!). I had even started wondering, if I had somehow failed to clearly make the point, that the only reason that this child was dead, was because of the actions of the parents – I even asked my friends, if they could understand the point that I was making; they all said that my point was clear as daylight, and that they had no problem understanding that the actions of the parents, had caused the death of this child.


Could it be that some Christians, simply, really don’t live within the same realm of reality as most of us do? In my worldview, and in the reality in which I live, snakes and asses don’t talk, and young virgin girls, don’t give birth to babies, and the dead don’t rise; however, most often when you confront Christians as to why they believe as truth, such silly and utter nonsense, instead of simply answering, most try and convince you, that you are simply misunderstanding these issues; and this is one of the facets of this mind-virus, that I find the most appalling – some Christians, will even spend hours trying to convince you, that you just don’t understand the meaning of all of those horrible stories, which are written in the bible – like the one when their “god,” “flooded” the earth, and then murdered all of those innocent men, women and children; they even tell this horrible, sick and morbid story to little children, and paint it as being warm and fuzzy, and they try and convince you, that you just don’t understand the story.


We all know that the Tea Party, is filled to the rafters with ignorant and deluded, uneducated and just plain stupid idiots and morons, and one only needs to look at the party’s leadership, to fully understand why the Tea Party, is the party of stupid.


In the following video, Tea Party spokesperson, and devout Christian Michele Bachmann, demonstrates again that she doesn’t know jack-shit about American history, or anything else for that matter – and when Tea Party strategist Sal Russo, is asked to explain just what in the hell this ignorant moron was talking about, and why the Tea Party picked someone as stupid and ignorant as Bachmann for their spokesperson, he simply spins around, and then starts talking out of his ass, and trying to convince the host, that she was talking about government spending? This is sort of what I was saying that most Christians do, when confronted about just how insane their beliefs are – they simply spin around, and start talking out of their ass, while trying to convince you, of your ignorance.

What kind of god would tell people to kill other people because they don’t believe in your god?

The level of delusion, ignorance and stupidity in this video is just astounding; and its shameful that in the year 2011, that we still have people who behave like these ignorant people are behaving in this video – at about 1:17 this idiot asks: “what kind of god would tell people to kill other people because they don’t believe in your god?”



Well, let’s see…………………..how about your “god” in the bible, the “god” of all 3 major religions……….the evil fucking “god” in your bible, who “fathered” your “virgin-born” “savior” “Jesus.”


Ronald Reagan cut the funding for the care of our mentally-ill in the 1980s, and then gave tax cuts to the rich – yes, Reagan has been dead for awhile now, but his legacy is still alive and doing well.

The "god" in the bible demands death for those who don’t believe:  

Can we really trust our Government?

Yesterday, I broke a promise that I had made to myself, about 3 years after I had first started writing and posting stories on the internet back in the 1990s, that I would never write about my opinions on such issues as Governmental conspiracies, and this was after I wrote an article refuting a post about AIDS being planted in Africa – some fucking nut had posted this silly story, and he claimed that he had evidence that the U.S government had planted AIDS in Africa, and I spent over a year debunking his “evidence.” Then yesterday while responding to comments, I got into the position again, only this time, I was the one wearing the tinfoil cap. So, Sbj,1964, to further clarify what I am saying and where I am coming from – I learned about this facet of earth science, from the best data that was available back in the 1970s and early 1980s on the earth’s atmosphere – information in textbooks which was complied well before the start of the “space-race,” and the so called race between the USA and the Soviets, to land a man on the moon. After the start of the “space-race,” the importance of beating the Soviets, in a race to be the first to land a man on the moon was being sold to the American people, as a thing of national pride. However, this race was never about pride, or being the first to make it to the moon. With the Soviet’s success of Sputnik, our Government realized for the first time, just how far that we were behind the Soviets in our space program and technologies.



After WWII, and we had started all of this “in god we trust” bullshit, and this one nation under fucking “god” bullshit, and had stopped teaching our children real math and science, and had started creating little brain-dead Christian-sheep – in the 1950s, our “Sputnik moment,” was when we realized, that while we were becoming just a nation of ignorant and deluded, and brain-dead Christian-sheep; the god-less Soviets, were kicking our asses in both math and science, and had beaten us into space.


From The Washington Post:


President Eisenhower immediately declared the "Sputnik crisis" - in part out of concern that a country that could launch a satellite into space could also effectively deliver nuclear missiles across continents.

Less than a year later, Eisenhower signed the National Aeronautics and Space Act, which created NASA. He also began new national education initiatives to train more engineers.


The “space-race” was never about who made it to the moon first – it was about a race to be the first nation to have the strategic capacity, of raining down nuclear death from above.


At its conception, NASA was shrouded in so much secrecy, that it was drawing much suspicion from the scientific community. And our Government had started propagandizing, any and all of our new scientific discoveries, which they felt were in the interests of national security. The government began hiding anything and everything in which they deemed, as being a valuable strategic asset to the military, and they started disinformation campaigns, in an attempt hide our “secrets’ from the Soviets, and they were even hiding our new technologies, from most non Governmental scientists as well. And in the 1970s and 80s, when this disinformation had even started spreading into the science textbooks, I then became more and more disinterested in science also –you see, I was taught science by old-school scientists; and I was taught to be skeptical – you see, science must always be tested and retested, and not just simply believed – simply believing something because someone says it’s true, is the position of faith and ignorance, and held in religion, and not a position held within science – and this is the main reason why teaching real science, is such a detriment to religion, as no critically thinking person, could ever come to believe, that a ghost fucked a little girl, and this virgin-girl, then gave birth to a magical “savior,” who was then killed, but then after 3 days, his stinking and rotting corpse arose, and then walked among the living.


My position which I expressed on the subject of whether or not we did in fact land a man on the moon back in the 1960s, was derived from the best scientific information and data that was available back in the early 60s, and it was the opinion of all of the scientists that I knew back in the 1970s, that it couldn’t be done at the time, and impart because of the deadly levels of radiation, that the astronauts would encounter in outer space. And I have yet to see, any new credible data, which conflicts with the old information and data. The only thing that has changed, is the fact that our Government, now says that we did in fact go to the moon; however, the supporting data for refuting the previous data, is simply missing – the information in the science books has simply changed, and without any supporting scientific data.


I am not saying that the moon landing was all just simply propaganda and fucking lies; however, the way the Government starting all of these disinformation campaigns, we now have people believing that the government is hiding fucking Aliens in the state of Nevada. And anyone who is skeptical and questions any of the pure bullshit that our Government says, is now being labeled as a conspiracy nut, and seen in the same light as those who believe that government is hiding fucking Aliens.


It seems that we didn’t learn anything from our first "Sputnik crisis," as we have again allowed religion to pollute our Government, and again stopped educating our children, and simply telling them what to think and believe. Since the 1980s, we have created a nation of folks so fucking ignorant and deluded, that we now have these TV preaching con-artists and fucking thieves, making millions of dollars off selling magical spring-water, and all sorts of other, pure religious bullshit – and again, we are trying change our data and history in our textbooks – and if these ignorant fucking Christians here in America, don’t wake up real fucking soon, the only master that they will be serving will be a corporate master, and while they work for low wages, and with no fucking benefits.


Ok, my friends, the doors is open again, and coming real soon, my post on why I believe everything that the Government has told us about 9/11, was just fucking bullshit!

Are We Alone in the Universe?

As far back as I can remember I would look up at the stars and wonder, just how many earth like planets that just might be out there orbiting these billions upon billions of stars. And how many of them just might have life-forms, or even have intelligent life living on them. Back in the 1970s, when I started learning about science and cosmology, through science we already had a real good understanding of how the stars were formed, including how our own star was formed – and it was believed that just about every star in the universe was formed just like our own sun. So I wondered, just how many of these stars might had formed planets out of the leftover dust and gas clouds, just like our own solar system had formed.



Back in the 1970s and 80s, we hadn’t yet developed the technologies needed to detected planets orbiting any other star outside of our own solar system; however, through science, we were almost certain that there were many other planets out there and countless other solar systems.

Then in 1995, with the discovery of the first planet orbiting a star outside of our own solar system – that added weight to another idea in which I firmly believe – that anywhere in the universe where the conditions are just right for life to exists, it most likely does exist. But what kind of life is the only question?


I personally believe that the odds of us finding other human-like life forms living on other earth-like worlds are not all that great. But still, I personally believe that the universe is simply seething with life forms, and including intelligent life. The odds that the conditions here on earth which have allowed us to evolve into what we are today, also happening anywhere else in the universe, are very slim, but not totally out of the question. And if intelligent life did or does exist, did they ever move beyond the current state that we are in today? And if so, how long did it take them to become rational, and move beyond their myths and silly religious superstitions?


One thing which goes without question is the fact that in the last 100 years, we have gained more real knowledge about life and the universe in which we live in, than in all of the other years of our human history combined. And another thing which goes without question, is the fact that we were only able to advance this far, after breaking free from the strangle hold that the church and religion had held on free thought for so many years. Just think of how much further we would have advanced by now, if 3000-4000 years ago, we had started advancing science and technology, instead of creating gods. And what will it take to drag these ignorant and deluded, religious morons into a true post dark-age era – what if we did in fact discover, radio signals or some other form of intelligent communication, beaming from another planet orbiting a distant star somewhere in the universe – would that be enough?


I personally believe that if beings from an advanced civilization, did in fact happen upon us folks living here on earth, that they wouldn’t even attempt to make contact – think about it, how many of us, go out of our way, just to avoid making contact with the religious?

My Higher-Power Sheep’s-Ass Strikes Again:

For months now, I have been trying figure out why my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass has been stuck on fives. The first time that I prayed to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass for a new laptop computer, that same day, I won a 500 dollar pull-tab. The next time that I wanted to buy another new computer, I prayed again to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, and within the next few days, I had won two five hundred dollar prizes on one single scratch lottery ticket for a total of 1,000 dollars – then after finding another computer that I wanted to buy, I again prayed to my higher-power sheep’s-ass for the funds to buy the new computer, hell, this time I even told my friends that my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass would come through again with the cash for my new computer, and they even laughed at me, and they said that I was the one who was stuck – “stuck on stupid,” then the next day when I won 500 dollars, and used it to pay for my new computer – one of my friends even accused me of being a Satanist, and my other friend simply became a believer that there is power in the sheep’s-ass! But still, I wondered, just why my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass, was stuck on fives?



I wondered – if it was because, I had come from a family of five (I had 2 siblings and 2 parents for a total of five). Or the fact that both my best friend and I, both have families of five (we both have 3 boys, and our wives, for a total of five?). Needless to say, this was a troubling mystery for me – then that’s when it hit me – it wasn’t my sheep who was stuck on the fives, it was me – I was only asking my sheep’s-ass for computers and other stuff that cost under five hundred dollars, and if I wanted to win more money, I simply needed to set my sights higher – I was only asking my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass for cheep computers and other stuff – it wasn’t my sheep being the tight-ass, it was me being the tight-ass, my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass, was simply giving me exactly what I was asking for (cheap shit). So the next day, I prayed to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, and I asked my higher-power sheep’s ass to deal with a problem that I have been dealing with every since 2002, and among the other thing that I prayed to my higher-power sheep’s-ass that day for, were a new Macbook pro computer, a new HDTV, and a new Canon camera just like the one that Baconsbud recently received as a gift. Then this past Monday, I even told some of my friends, that my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass, would be buying me a new Macbook computer this week.


My younger friend responded: “all of that stuff that you are saying that your sheep’s-ass is going to buy for you this week, all costs almost 4,000 dollars; and that stupid sheep of yours has about the same chance of coming through with the 4,000 dollars, as I have of riding a flying pig to school this next Monday” (well my little piss-head friend, its Saturday, so you better start looking for a flying-pig, for your trip to school on Monday!). and when I told my other friend – the one who has 3 boys just like me, for a total five members in his family just like me – he responded about the same as my younger friend did – this despite the fact that I had told him, that like I had said in my last post, that I was starting to understand this stuffed sheep’s-ass theist thing, and I was now ready so shoot for 5,000?


This past Thursday started out as sort of a weird day, the night before it had snowed, and it was real cold that day. Both I and my friend were real bored, so we decided to take advantage of the snowy day to work on a project that we had been putting off for months – we took a trip to a nearby town to get parts for the project, and as we were driving into this town, and we approached a cemetery just on the outside of the town, I heard a sheep barking loudly – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” I then asked my friend if he had heard the sheep bark too – he said that he thought the sound was simply caused by the tires running over the ice and snow – at that point I asked my friend to turn around and go back to where we had first heard the sound. As we headed back, and as we neared the gates to the cemetery again, I heard the sheep start barking again, so I asked my friend to pull the car over and park. I then got out and walked to the gates of the cemetery – and as I stood there, the sheep began barking again; I heard: “ Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa” repeated many times, and I lost count at about 12. So I walked back to the car, and we then turned around, and continued into the town, and then picked up our parts. As we were leaving the town, we decided to stop at a store and buy some groceries, and again, just like all of the times before – the wheel on the shopping cart that I was pushing, started spinning around in circles, and making a sound like a sheep barking – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” I had never even been in this store before, so I asked my friend to stay with our cart and our groceries while I went to see if this store had a lottery vending machine. When I found it, I again heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” So just like all of the other times before, I pulled two 20s out of my pocket, and bought two tickets. Then when we returned to the car, my friend said: “OK, you sheep-theist, so let’s see that 5,000 dollar winning ticket that you have been talking about all week now.”


So I scratched the first one, he laughed and said: “you just lost 20 dollars.” So I scratched the second one, and we both discovered that it was a 5,000 dollar winner – my friend then became real quiet, and we didn’t even say one word to each other on the trip back home.


What I have learned is to be careful what I pray for, because my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass gives me exactly what I pray for, and nothing more – so today, I started praying to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, for a 60 foot yacht, a new house and other stuff – I’ll let you know what happens


My higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass is still stuck on fives – even the winning number of the prize on the ticket, has a five in it (15).


And to my young friend, who thinks that I am a Satan worshiper, I bought you a new sweater and some other warm clothing (it’s going to be very cold, riding that flying pig to school on Monday!).