Most of my Christian friends are ”rapture” proof, how about yours?

Over the past few months, I have made it a point to call some of my longtime Christians friends. Some of these folks, I had not spoken with in many years – I had become concerned about my Christians friends, after hearing about all of the stories about how some Christians had been quitting their jobs and not paying their rent and mortgages because they had become convinced that they were about to take up a new residency in “heaven” with “Jesus;” and I wondered just how many of my friends had bought into this latest of rapture delusion?

Of the 4 of my Christian friends that I have talked with, only two of them had even heard about this May 21 date with “Jesus” (I started wondering if they had been living under a rock?). One of my friends stated that he had outgrown his childish beliefs in the Christian myth, and all of the silly magic – like virgins giving birth, and dead folks rising, and heaven and hell and the likes; however, he made it a point to tell me that he still believes in a “god” – just not the “god,” in the bible???

One of my friends who I had not spoken with in about 10 or 11 years, said that she had heard that I was dead, and that I had died over ten years ago (I guess that I should contact my Christian friends more often?). I joked with her and said that I had became a Christian about ten years ago, and that I had been a part of the pre-rapture program, and that I was taken up to heaven about a week ago, and that I was calling her from heaven to make sure that she was ready for her May 21 date with “Jesus.” The sad part of this story is the fact that at first, she believed me??? And she is not your garden variety, uneducated and ignorant Christian, she’s a School Teacher???


She told me that she didn’t really believe that “Jesus” was “coming back” on Saturday – but she then said: “you can never be 100 percent sure about these kinds of things either – no one knows the date, not even Jesus knows the date of his own return – so it’s always better to play it safe; so I’ll be praying extra hard this weekend.”


I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed that I couldn’t find a single one of my Christian friends, who were preparing for the May 21 “rapture.” However, that fact in and of its self, is the main reason why I consider these folks as my friends in the first place – I have always tried to distance myself from the more deluded Christians that I have known. I tried to explain to my Christian friend that she can in fact know the date of the rapture; and that the date of the real “rapture,” will be on the 12th of never. I told her that this latest of dates, of the hundreds of other rapture dates that folks were sure that the world would end, was derived from the mythical story of the “great flood” written in the buy-bull, and using some kind of weird math, and by a very mentally ill and deluded man.



The sad reality is the fact that some folks did in fact buy into this totally contrived and big load of horse-shit – there are those who carry this brain-rotting mind-virus of delusion, who stopped making plans for anything worldly post the May 21 “rapture.” They have in fact quit their jobs and stopped paying their rent and mortgage – some even sold their homes and used their life savings to buy space on billboards announcing the May 21 date of the “rapture.” Some have even been traveling for months now (whole families in tow) and spreading the “good news” of the coming “rapture” – some even taking their children out of school. And the sad reality is, on Sunday, some of these folks will have nothing to go back to – as they have sold everything that they owned.

As far as I know, most of my Christian friends will sail right through today’s “rapture” unaffected by this latest of Christian insanity – how about your Christian friends? Do you know anyone who fell for this “rapture” bullshit? And do we need new laws to protect those who carry this brain-rotting mind-virus of delusion from their own stupidity? And should Harold Camping be prosecuted? I’d be willing to bet that some of his willfully ignorant victims will be breaking out the pitchforks and the torches, and then heading for California!

Jesus will be “returning” on May 21 2011 – Run for the hills!!!!

I have struggled for years, while trying to understand just why Christians are so obsessed with this paranoid notion of the end times, and why they look forward to the total destruction of the earth and mankind as we know it, and with such joy and glee. I was only a young child the first time when I heard one of these deluded and psychotic Christian morons, preaching that jesus will return on a date that he was given in some kind of dream or prophetic vision, and he would only reveal the date of jesus’ return, to those who sold everything that they owned, then gave him the money, so that he could build an underground bunker, somewhere in the side of a mountain, where they would all be safe from the earthquakes and the 900 foot tidal waves which would precede jesus’ second coming – I don’t know just how many of the people he had convinced of this total bullshit that night, although he had been traveling all around the country, and he had been preaching this bullshit in rented halls and churches for at least a few months, and he had quite a large following by the time he had made it to Seattle.

Omaha billboards herald Jesus' return in May

From the Washington Post:


OMAHA, Neb. -- A Christian group is proclaiming Jesus' return in billboards going up in Omaha and other U.S. cities for the holiday season.

Allison Warden, of We Can Know, says an analysis of Scripture shows Jesus will come on May 21. She says the billboards showing three wise men following the star of Bethlehem are meant to spur the public's interest in the Bible, not frighten anyone.


Warden says the billboards have gone up in Omaha and Nashville, Tenn. She says they're also going up in Atlanta, Bridgeport, Conn.; Detroit; Fort Wayne, Ind.; Kansas City, Mo.; Little Rock, Ark.; Louisville, Ky.; and St. Louis. They'll be up for December.


We Can Know offers resources to learn about the coming of Jesus and the end of days through its website, wecanknow.com.


This latest of Christian ignorance and delusion, took me back to the time when a local preacher had told his ignorant flock, that jesus would be returning that year, and on July 2ed – most of the little christ-tards that I knew back then, who were around my same age, (about 13 years of age, or so) were asking me if I was going to repent and accept jesus now that it was certain (per the word of this deluded-preacher) that jesus was coming back on the 2ed of July, and they told me if I didn’t repent and accept jesus, that I would burn in hell forever – I simply told them that the only thing that I would be burning that week in July would be fireworks – they all got mad as hell. They even said things like: “I hope the devil burns you real-good, and that you suffer more pain in hell, than the pain of all the other heathens combined.” – don’t you just love Christians?