Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Will Jesus return this Easter Sunday? I hope so!



I recently overheard a group of Christian proselytizers, telling people that President Obama is the antichrist, and jesus will return before the end of Obama’s first term in office. An old lady replied: “is this just more of that 2012 doomsday bullshit?” The proselytizer then said: “No, I believe he’s coming back on this next Easter Sunday, so you better get ready!”


As I was still standing there wondering what would make someone believe something as silly as this? I started daydreaming about what mode of transportation jesus might use if he did return on Easter Sunday – would he arrive on a spaceship? Or would he descend from the clouds as a 700 foot tall jesus, as some have speculated he will, and would the earth stop spinning as some have said. I thought, his dad is old-school – you know, the way he killed people by flooding the earth, when he could have just spoken and poofed everyone dead? I found the logistics of this just mindboggling, but then it hit me; what would be a better day for jesus to return than on Easter Sunday. Finding all his Christians would be so easy; as most will be in church that day, and worshiping him.


About the time when I was deep into my daydream, I started hearing the voice of one of the proselytizers, who was now barking at me and saying: “you better repent and get ready bro, this maybe our last week together here on earth.”


I then put my hand on his shoulder, and looked him straight in the eyes and said: “I hope so bro; the world will be so much a nicer place for all the rest of us, when all of you deluded people are gone!”




John

Comments (7)

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I completely agree with your last sentence. I just hope that he does something with Muslims while he is at it.
Well, anything goes in this deluded myth – and “he” already has a plan worked out for the Muslims. They're always blowing themselves up, and killing Jews, Christians and each other, so they can get their 72-virgin package - so Jeebus, will be sending them to their own little paradise, with their own 72-virgins throughout the tribulation (that is; 72-virgin male hermaphrodites, with two foot long cocks, to ass-rape them with!). Then at the end of the tribulation, he’ll be sending them to “hell” with the Jews – so the Jews can then ass-rape the Muslims, for all of eternity. Meanwhile, all the rest of us heathens can live in peace forever, here on earth.

Amen 
Doesn't he return every year to roam the countryside feasting on the brains of the living? All hail zombie Jesus!
Jesus was not G-D. He might of been a son of G-D, that put sin out and returned and knew Truth and Wisdom in the hidden part and had the law wirtten on his inward parts. But there is only ONE G-D. This Jewish man, tryed to tell them what he knew to be true, many came and spoke out Jeremiah, Isaiah and others. But, nevertheless they were not G-D. Abraham Isaac and Jacob.....are names given them by G-D and He even went and told Moses that this would be His name to be remembered for all generations. Ex.3:15 The covenant of day and night...Ps. 51:6 sons of G-D and the covenant of those who will not do for G-D , so G-D must do for them, this is not a nation Israel, but a group of perple G-D seeded down in every nation. read Jer. 31:33 And here is the seeding of the two houses of G-D Jer. 31:27 and why is Jer.32:27
Their is no such thing as Jesus that was not even the MANS name ( Yesuwha ) .Jesus is a silly Greek title you fools . Originally Je-Zeus or god is Zeus . When it was Latinized it became Jesus! Still a title not a name .You would think that fat christian bastards would at least know the name of they're god? But they are to stupid and Lazy to ever question anything ! They just keep repeating the same old lies ,generation,after generation ! And now they have become so stupid ,fat , illiterate and lazy only 7% of all people who claim to be Christians have actually ever bothered to read this silly,violent,ridiculous big book of Jewish Lies ,and fairy tales !
Happy Easter weekend John ! Hope you have your Zombie Jesus protection plan in order ,you have seen what happens to people when he eats they're brains ,and leaves then as mindless sheep for the Clergy to fuck ! O Yeah don't forget to camouflage your eggs ,and hide them . Turns out Zombie Jesus is a egg thief as well as a Horse thief / Ass Bandit !
1 reply · active 727 weeks ago
You just might not know this, but to Zombie-Jebus, eating the brain of an atheist, would be just like Superman playing with kryptonite! You see, Zombie-Jebus’ eating habits, are just like the eating habits of most other scavengers – like, let’s say, a Possum; they both only like to eat the things, that have been dead for a long while, and are rotting and stinking – and in the case of Zombie-Jebus, he only likes to eats the brains of brain-dead Christians, and the genitals of dead and rotting Muslims!

Happy belated Zombie-Jebus/Jebus-Bunny day!

I hope that you survived too!

Peace

John

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