My Christian friend is becoming rational – praise the “lord”

I recently called a longtime christian friend, to wish him and his wife a happy holiday. His 2 children are both about the same ages as ours, and they played and all grew up together. I’ve known this guy and his wife for almost 25 years; back when I first met this guy, and after him and his wife, had gotten over the shock, that they were living next door to a family of atheists, (we were the first atheists, that they had ever met) we all became good friends. He became the kind of friend that you talk shit with when you guys were alone with each other – the kind of friend that when he see’s you working around house, or fixing something, he always has to put in his two cents worth – he always has a better way of doing things; and the kind of friend that if you overheard us talking to each other in a hardware store, you might not think that we were friends at all.



In the summer, we would load up the children, camping gear and the ATV’s, and then convoy to the Ocean together – both of our families were very close, and we had a lot of fun together – but then came all of the invites to attend church with them, and all of the proselytizing. Both he and I were making a hell of a lot of money back then, and despite the fact that I was out of town a lot of the time, him and his wife believed that we were excellent parents, and had great children, and that the only other thing that we needed, was “jesus” in our lives. This guy and his wife were also real close friends with their preacher and his wife, at the church where they attended. There were times when his proselytizing would put a great strain on our friendship, and I would unload on his ass about his deluded belief in a ghost raped, little virgin-born bastard-savior, named “jesus” – I never attacked him personally, but to him, attacking his fucking “lord,” was the same as attacking him – his wife would always say: “he’ll come around to jesus.”


The last two times that I had talked to this guy, I didn’t even notice that he didn’t come at me with his christ-speak and deluded christian-talk – so I asked him: “you’re not trying to save my heathen soul anymore, you fucking asshole - so what gives here?” he then told me, that after their children had dropped by the house on their mom’s birthday, and both of them were proclaiming that they were now agnostics, and parroting a lot of the stuff that I used to say (I never talked to his children about their beliefs) he and his wife started thinking about what they believed in as well. He told me that neither he nor his wife, still believes in all of that made up bullshit in the bible, like the talking-snake, and the virgin-birth of jesus, and all of the other magic and bullshit about christ’s life and death – he said that today, he can’t understand just how he ever believed, that all of that bullshit was true; however, he said that both him and his wife, still consider themselves christians. He said that they now only follow, the christian teachings – like do unto others, help the poor and other stuff like that… he even apologized to me, for all of his past proselytizing.


I didn’t even know what to say at that point; I thought that I should have felt something, or even started gloating, and talking shit or something – but the only thing that I said was again, enjoy the holidays – he then invited me and my family to his home for a New Years Eve party.


I’ve never been religious – even as a young child, I found the story of christ simply ridiculous – the ghost raping the little girl, all of the fucking magic – walking on water, turning water into wine, raising the dead – a dead for 3 days, stinking and rotting corpse arose, and then walking among the living – and simply believe all of this silly and mindless bullshit, and you’ll live forever somewhere in the fucking sky. So I just can’t get a grasp on what this guy and his wife are going through. And can someone still be a “christian,” without believing all of the supernatural bullshit? Or is this just the path that some christians take to avoid the atheist stigma? What do you think about this?

We won’t be seeing the “baby jesus” inside our State Capital building this year:

It almost seems like it was just yesterday, that Fox “News,” Bill O’reilly was crying and having a hissy-fit back in 2008, over the atheist display inside the Washington State Capital building. Alongside the holiday trees, Christmas trees, a Jewish menorah and a few others, was this display sponsored by The Freedom From Religion Foundation – a placard which simply read:



"At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds."






The Christians called foul over the Governor, also allowing the atheist display, along with the Christian nativity scene, and the little “baby jesus” in the manger. The Christians cried persecution, and that the atheist sign was just another attack in the war on Christmas and Christians – some were even calling for the Governor’s (Christine Gregoire) head on a plate.


Holiday displays, which have including, displays of Santa and reindeer, are nothing new insofar as the types of stuff that has been allowed to be put on display, both inside and outside of the State Capital building. As far back as I can remember there were trees, Santa, snowmen and other types of holiday displays. Then in 2006 after a Christian (Ron Wesselius) sued the state after his request to display a nativity scene, including the little “virgin-born,” bastard “jesus” inside the Capital building was denied, the state then caved into this blatant violation of the separation between church and state, and as part of this legal settlement, then agreed to set aside certain areas within the Capital building for all types of holiday displays, including the religious ones.


From The Olympian:


But that policy produced a cacophony of displays in 2008. There was a placard from atheists mocking religion as myth and superstition, placards from religious groups poking fun at atheists, a large electric-lighted menorah and requests to put up a “Festivus pole” in honor of the mock holiday popularized by the “Seinfeld” sitcom. The controversial anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas also sought a display that said Santa would take people to hell, and another group critical of creationism wanted to depict a “Flying Spaghetti Monster” as the creator of the world.


The flood of requests prompted General Administration to declare a midholiday moratorium on displays in 2008. A policy was approved in 2009 that restricted private displays to the outdoors. The only displays that went up last year were a lighted menorah and a placard from Seattle atheists, both put up near the Tivoli fountain on the Capitol lawn; a menorah also was displayed briefly at Sylvester Park.


I believed at the time that the decision was made, in allowing this icon of delusion to be displayed inside the State Capitol building, it was a really bad idea to say the least, and a bad idea that would open up the floodgates for every other cult in the state, who wanted to convey any kind of religious messaged in a public forum.


Then after months of hearing local Christians complaining, and crying persecution over the State’s moratorium on restricting all private displays to the outdoors; I thought that this would put an end to this controversy once and for all. Then the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights president William Donohue sent a letter Oct. 27 to Gregoire announcing that he was sending a one-piece Nativity scene to her chief of staff; the State officials then flat out rejected the informal request to display it indoors, citing a policy that no longer allows nongovernment displays inside Capitol Campus buildings:


“Private exhibits and displays, such as a Nativity scene, are permitted only outside on the campus grounds, provided they meet certain conditions regarding time, place and manner,” Department of General Administration director Joyce Turner said in a letter this week to the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights in New York City.


I am fairly confident both that Washington State’s Governor will not be making any new compromises on the state’s policy of restricting all private displays to the outdoors, and confident that those who carry this mind-virus, and who have little respect for the rights of others, won’t be going away anytime soon either. Personally, I’d like to see this moratorium extended to ban all religious icons from being displayed anywhere on government property – I personally find it sad, that in the year 2010, we still have silly and ignorant people believing that a cosmic ghost fathered a baby, who was born of a virgin; when in fact, this whole silly story of Christmas and “jesus,” were both stolen from the many Pagan stories in which the sun-god, dies on the cross (in the constellation of the Cruz) on December 21, remains dead for 3 days, (pauses in the sky for 3 days) and then on December 25, starts its way back north, eventually bringing Spring, longer days, and new life (yes, the sun is the truth, the way and the light - and the giver of all life on this planet).


Grow the fuck up, Christians!


Happy season of the Winter Solstice everyone!

My confusion over the proper way of eating jesus:

I had been hearing about this religious knowledge test conducted by PEW for at least two weeks now. The results simply confirmed what I have always known – Christians and most other religious people, don’t know jack-shit about religion, including their own. Most have never even read their own “holy-books,” or have done any type of real research. As someone who has read the bible from cover to cover at least twice, and studied religion and mythology for about 5 years in my teens, I have always wondered just how any half-way intelligent person could read the whole bible, and still walk away believing such utter nonsense. The story of Christ is simply stolen from the stories of the dozens of other solar messiah’s, and all of which, predate Christianity, and some by 1000’s of years. I thought, why should I even waste my time with this test, I thought that I would just ace the test anyway - so why even bother looking for the URL.



Then I was over at Krissthesexyatheist’s blog, and I found the first working link – so before reading his post any further, I clicked on the link. I started taking the test; there are 15 questions, and as I was answering the last one, I realized that I had fucked up on 14. “Which of these religions aims at nirvana, the state of being free from suffering?” well I can blame that one on my dyslexia – I knew the answer was Buddhism; however, I had clicked on Hinduism, I thought, what the hell, I’ll still get 14 out of 15 right anyway. Then the next page which gives you, your score read: “You answered 13 out of 15 questions correctly
for a score of 87%.”

I thought, WTF, I missed 6 too? 6. “Which of the following best describes the Catholic teaching about the bread and wine used for Communion?” I thought, how in the hell did I get that one wrong; I have always thought that eating and drinking zombie-jesus, was just a symbolic ritual derived from the “last supper” story. So I had given this answer: “The bread and wine are symbols of the body and blood of Jesus Christ.” – Wrong answer? WTF – the correct answer is: “The bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Jesus Christ.” I thought to myself: and all of this time that I have been thinking that they were just symbolically eating on jesus, and drinking his blood – when in fact, these sick and deluded folks have actually been gorging themselves on this dead-zombie-jesus – what a sick fucking lot of vampires and fucking cannibals. I have always known that the Catholics loved themselves some jesus; but I never even thought that they were this fucking sick – I guess as long as we don’t close our minds, we can learn something new every day?

Will Jesus return this Easter Sunday? I hope so!

I recently overheard a group of Christian proselytizers, telling people that President Obama is the antichrist, and jesus will return before the end of Obama’s first term in office. An old lady replied: “is this just more of that 2012 doomsday bullshit?” The proselytizer then said: “No, I believe he’s coming back on this next Easter Sunday, so you better get ready!”


As I was still standing there wondering what would make someone believe something as silly as this? I started daydreaming about what mode of transportation jesus might use if he did return on Easter Sunday – would he arrive on a spaceship? Or would he descend from the clouds as a 700 foot tall jesus, as some have speculated he will, and would the earth stop spinning as some have said. I thought, his dad is old-school – you know, the way he killed people by flooding the earth, when he could have just spoken and poofed everyone dead? I found the logistics of this just mindboggling, but then it hit me; what would be a better day for jesus to return than on Easter Sunday. Finding all his Christians would be so easy; as most will be in church that day, and worshiping him.


About the time when I was deep into my daydream, I started hearing the voice of one of the proselytizers, who was now barking at me and saying: “you better repent and get ready bro, this maybe our last week together here on earth.”


I then put my hand on his shoulder, and looked him straight in the eyes and said: “I hope so bro; the world will be so much a nicer place for all the rest of us, when all of you deluded people are gone!”




John

EVANGELIST A. A. ALLEN:

This is a response to Beast_FCD blogged At Atheist Haven 02/25/09



Early one spring morning back in the 60's, my family and I were eating breakfast when we heard a knock at our door. Two Christian proselytizers informed my mother that the greatest man since Jesus had come to town. And he'd be conducting tent Church services in our neighborhood that evening. And come prepared to be saved and healed: (Wallets and purses in hand!)


My mom became real excited about this, and later on that evening, she headed off to the revival services with my siblings and I in tow. When we arrived at the tent, the service was all ready in progress. So we just took seats and began watching the show. As I looked around, I noticed that in the front row, were people in wheelchairs and lying around on stretchers. And on the right side of the stage, there was a coffin with flowers on top. After an hour or so, he said, he was starting to feel the presence of Jesus. And he was now ready to start performing miracles. And those wishing to be healed can start coming to the front of the stage.


A few folks started moving forward, but most remained seated. The first one to be healed was a lady in a wheelchair. She said in to the microphone; that she had been paralyzed now, for over 25 years. He then told her, "in the name of Jesus, you will, walk tonight." Then the organ started playing, and he put his hands on her head: then he started commanding her to stand up on her feet. After a few moments, she slowly began to rise up and out of her wheelchair. A few minutes later, she was running around, hands in the air praising Jesus, and acting like a fucking fool. He then healed about five others, which were in the front row. Then he made his way back on the stage, and approached the coffin. Standing next to it, was a woman crying and saying, that in that coffin was her husband, that had died two days earlier. As this guy started praying over her dead husband and the organ changed its tune. After a few minutes or so, the lid on the coffin began to rise. At this point I was scared shitless and just wanted too cry. And just then, I saw a man's head, rise up out of the coffin. The women started screaming, and so did I. As she bent over to grab him, the preacher held her back, saying, "just give him a few more moments, the miracle isn't over yet!" As this corpse was still awakening, and the organ changed its tune, this time playing an upbeat, and happy song. At this point, the service turned in too, what I can only describe as a healing frenzy. People were running up to the stage to be healed while the Church ushers, collected money in big baskets. This went on for an hour or so, before we left. My mom wrote this man a check that night, and placed it in one of the baskets. Later on that summer she received a free invitation, inviting her to his church camp in Miracle Valley, Arizona.


My mom decided to accept his invitation. So that next week, she headed for Arizona, my siblings and I in tow. We arrived on a Monday, besides the fact it was hot as hell, the place wasn't all that bad. Well the food was OK at least. There were Church services going on, almost the whole time we were there. But the fourth one that I attended: I saw something that I had seen before in the tent. The corpse which he was raising that day, was the same one from back in the spring. Me being a little kid and all, I first thought: boy, this guy must sure die a lot. But then as I started looking at the others that he was healing; I realized that they were the same ones from the tent service last spring. I pointed this out to my mom, but she didn't seem too concerned. She said he was just doing god's work.