Monday, October 18, 2010

My confusion over the proper way of eating jesus:

I had been hearing about this religious knowledge test conducted by PEW for at least two weeks now. The results simply confirmed what I have always known – Christians and most other religious people, don’t know jack-shit about religion, including their own. Most have never even read their own “holy-books,” or have done any type of real research. As someone who has read the bible from cover to cover at least twice, and studied religion and mythology for about 5 years in my teens, I have always wondered just how any half-way intelligent person could read the whole bible, and still walk away believing such utter nonsense. The story of Christ is simply stolen from the stories of the dozens of other solar messiah’s, and all of which, predate Christianity, and some by 1000’s of years. I thought, why should I even waste my time with this test, I thought that I would just ace the test anyway - so why even bother looking for the URL.

Then I was over at Krissthesexyatheist’s blog, and I found the first working link – so before reading his post any further, I clicked on the link. I started taking the test; there are 15 questions, and as I was answering the last one, I realized that I had fucked up on 14. “Which of these religions aims at nirvana, the state of being free from suffering?” well I can blame that one on my dyslexia – I knew the answer was Buddhism; however, I had clicked on Hinduism, I thought, what the hell, I’ll still get 14 out of 15 right anyway. Then the next page which gives you, your score read: “You answered 13 out of 15 questions correctly
for a score of 87%.”

I thought, WTF, I missed 6 too? 6. “Which of the following best describes the Catholic teaching about the bread and wine used for Communion?” I thought, how in the hell did I get that one wrong; I have always thought that eating and drinking zombie-jesus, was just a symbolic ritual derived from the “last supper” story. So I had given this answer: “The bread and wine are symbols of the body and blood of Jesus Christ.” – Wrong answer? WTF – the correct answer is: “The bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Jesus Christ.” I thought to myself: and all of this time that I have been thinking that they were just symbolically eating on jesus, and drinking his blood – when in fact, these sick and deluded folks have actually been gorging themselves on this dead-zombie-jesus – what a sick fucking lot of vampires and fucking cannibals. I have always known that the Catholics loved themselves some jesus; but I never even thought that they were this fucking sick – I guess as long as we don’t close our minds, we can learn something new every day?