Saturday, February 12, 2011

My Higher Power Stuffed Sheep’s Ass Moves Again!

I hate to brag, but don’t you just hate it when you hear Christians thanking “Jesus” whenever something in which they perceive as good happens to them – like when they find some money laying on the ground (as if “Jesus” put the money there, and just for them to find it) or you even hear them thanking “Jesus,” when the medicine that they were taking, worked and they thank Jesus, because they feel better? Or they thank “Jesus,” when their child get’s an A in school (I guess that one is probably Ok, if their child is a talking-snake and dirt-man, and rib-woman believer, and they get an A in a real science class - then that would be a fucking miracle!). But when I told my friend 4 days ago, that I was going to buy a new laptop computer, and that I had “prayed” to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, just like the other 2 time when I wanted to buy a computer, but didn’t want to spend my own money for it, that this time, that I knew, that my higher-power sheep’s ass, would come through again with the cash - my friend called the other 2 times that I had won the money for a new computer, just plain good luck; but now, after my sheep’s ass striking three time in a row, he’s even a believer now.

Yes, just like the last time that I won 1, ooo dollars, I was in the same store when the wheel on the shopping cart that I was pushing, started spinning around in circles, and making a sound like a sheep barking – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa” again, so this time, I didn’t even hesitate, not even for one second - I simply pulled two 20s out of my wallet, and said out loud (LOL): “in the name of my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, I’m going to win money today” and I won 500 dollars, or 460 dollars, minus the 40 that I spent for the tickets. My sheep seems to be stuck on fives – 50-500 dollars, and I have started wondering how I can change that to 5, ooo dollars or even higher – maybe even 5 million or higher?

The reason why I started taking photos of my winning tickets, was because when I would tell some of my friends about me and my sheep, most wouldn’t even believe me – this time, one of my younger friends, accused me of being a Satanist, and he said that my sheep was just my cover for me praying to Satan – I don’t understand him, he’s an atheist?

Can someone be an atheist, and still believe in Satan?

Oh, and BTW, I simply love my new computer – and thanks Satan, oops, I meant, thanks my higher-power stuffed Sheep’s-ass!