My higher power stuffed sheep’s ass has returned :

Click on photo to enlarge

My higher power stuffed sheep’s ass is back on his job again after returning from a well deserved vacation, and again, he’s ready to do my biding. About a month ago, he warned me that something real funky had entered into the mix with this lottery thing, and not to play again until he sent me a sign – he returned last Sunday, and I won over 400.00 dollars that day. Then Monday as my friend and I were leaving a restaurant after eating lunch, and as we were driving down the road, my friend started complaining about the smell of burning Sulfur that had somehow entered into his car. About that same time, we both started hearing a sheep barking loudly, we both heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa,” and right in front of us, was one of the same store chains were I had purchased most of my other winning lottery tickets. So we pulled into the parking lot, parked and entered the store, and found the lottery vending machine – and at the same time, there was a guy pushing his shopping cart past me, and the front wheel on the cart started spinning around in circles and making a sound like a sheep barking, I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” So just like all of the other times before, I pulled two 20s out of my pocket – and by now, you already know the rest of the story!



My sheep is getting cleverer!


More to come!

My Higher-Power Sheep’s-Ass Strikes Again:

For months now, I have been trying figure out why my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass has been stuck on fives. The first time that I prayed to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass for a new laptop computer, that same day, I won a 500 dollar pull-tab. The next time that I wanted to buy another new computer, I prayed again to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, and within the next few days, I had won two five hundred dollar prizes on one single scratch lottery ticket for a total of 1,000 dollars – then after finding another computer that I wanted to buy, I again prayed to my higher-power sheep’s-ass for the funds to buy the new computer, hell, this time I even told my friends that my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass would come through again with the cash for my new computer, and they even laughed at me, and they said that I was the one who was stuck – “stuck on stupid,” then the next day when I won 500 dollars, and used it to pay for my new computer – one of my friends even accused me of being a Satanist, and my other friend simply became a believer that there is power in the sheep’s-ass! But still, I wondered, just why my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass, was stuck on fives?



I wondered – if it was because, I had come from a family of five (I had 2 siblings and 2 parents for a total of five). Or the fact that both my best friend and I, both have families of five (we both have 3 boys, and our wives, for a total of five?). Needless to say, this was a troubling mystery for me – then that’s when it hit me – it wasn’t my sheep who was stuck on the fives, it was me – I was only asking my sheep’s-ass for computers and other stuff that cost under five hundred dollars, and if I wanted to win more money, I simply needed to set my sights higher – I was only asking my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass for cheep computers and other stuff – it wasn’t my sheep being the tight-ass, it was me being the tight-ass, my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass, was simply giving me exactly what I was asking for (cheap shit). So the next day, I prayed to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, and I asked my higher-power sheep’s ass to deal with a problem that I have been dealing with every since 2002, and among the other thing that I prayed to my higher-power sheep’s-ass that day for, were a new Macbook pro computer, a new HDTV, and a new Canon camera just like the one that Baconsbud recently received as a gift. Then this past Monday, I even told some of my friends, that my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass, would be buying me a new Macbook computer this week.


My younger friend responded: “all of that stuff that you are saying that your sheep’s-ass is going to buy for you this week, all costs almost 4,000 dollars; and that stupid sheep of yours has about the same chance of coming through with the 4,000 dollars, as I have of riding a flying pig to school this next Monday” (well my little piss-head friend, its Saturday, so you better start looking for a flying-pig, for your trip to school on Monday!). and when I told my other friend – the one who has 3 boys just like me, for a total five members in his family just like me – he responded about the same as my younger friend did – this despite the fact that I had told him, that like I had said in my last post, that I was starting to understand this stuffed sheep’s-ass theist thing, and I was now ready so shoot for 5,000?


This past Thursday started out as sort of a weird day, the night before it had snowed, and it was real cold that day. Both I and my friend were real bored, so we decided to take advantage of the snowy day to work on a project that we had been putting off for months – we took a trip to a nearby town to get parts for the project, and as we were driving into this town, and we approached a cemetery just on the outside of the town, I heard a sheep barking loudly – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” I then asked my friend if he had heard the sheep bark too – he said that he thought the sound was simply caused by the tires running over the ice and snow – at that point I asked my friend to turn around and go back to where we had first heard the sound. As we headed back, and as we neared the gates to the cemetery again, I heard the sheep start barking again, so I asked my friend to pull the car over and park. I then got out and walked to the gates of the cemetery – and as I stood there, the sheep began barking again; I heard: “ Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa” repeated many times, and I lost count at about 12. So I walked back to the car, and we then turned around, and continued into the town, and then picked up our parts. As we were leaving the town, we decided to stop at a store and buy some groceries, and again, just like all of the times before – the wheel on the shopping cart that I was pushing, started spinning around in circles, and making a sound like a sheep barking – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” I had never even been in this store before, so I asked my friend to stay with our cart and our groceries while I went to see if this store had a lottery vending machine. When I found it, I again heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa.” So just like all of the other times before, I pulled two 20s out of my pocket, and bought two tickets. Then when we returned to the car, my friend said: “OK, you sheep-theist, so let’s see that 5,000 dollar winning ticket that you have been talking about all week now.”


So I scratched the first one, he laughed and said: “you just lost 20 dollars.” So I scratched the second one, and we both discovered that it was a 5,000 dollar winner – my friend then became real quiet, and we didn’t even say one word to each other on the trip back home.


What I have learned is to be careful what I pray for, because my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass gives me exactly what I pray for, and nothing more – so today, I started praying to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, for a 60 foot yacht, a new house and other stuff – I’ll let you know what happens


My higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass is still stuck on fives – even the winning number of the prize on the ticket, has a five in it (15).


And to my young friend, who thinks that I am a Satan worshiper, I bought you a new sweater and some other warm clothing (it’s going to be very cold, riding that flying pig to school on Monday!).

My Higher Power Stuffed Sheep’s Ass Moves Again!

I hate to brag, but don’t you just hate it when you hear Christians thanking “Jesus” whenever something in which they perceive as good happens to them – like when they find some money laying on the ground (as if “Jesus” put the money there, and just for them to find it) or you even hear them thanking “Jesus,” when the medicine that they were taking, worked and they thank Jesus, because they feel better? Or they thank “Jesus,” when their child get’s an A in school (I guess that one is probably Ok, if their child is a talking-snake and dirt-man, and rib-woman believer, and they get an A in a real science class - then that would be a fucking miracle!). But when I told my friend 4 days ago, that I was going to buy a new laptop computer, and that I had “prayed” to my higher-power stuffed sheep’s ass, just like the other 2 time when I wanted to buy a computer, but didn’t want to spend my own money for it, that this time, that I knew, that my higher-power sheep’s ass, would come through again with the cash - my friend called the other 2 times that I had won the money for a new computer, just plain good luck; but now, after my sheep’s ass striking three time in a row, he’s even a believer now.



Yes, just like the last time that I won 1, ooo dollars, I was in the same store when the wheel on the shopping cart that I was pushing, started spinning around in circles, and making a sound like a sheep barking – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa” again, so this time, I didn’t even hesitate, not even for one second - I simply pulled two 20s out of my wallet, and said out loud (LOL): “in the name of my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, I’m going to win money today” and I won 500 dollars, or 460 dollars, minus the 40 that I spent for the tickets. My sheep seems to be stuck on fives – 50-500 dollars, and I have started wondering how I can change that to 5, ooo dollars or even higher – maybe even 5 million or higher?


The reason why I started taking photos of my winning tickets, was because when I would tell some of my friends about me and my sheep, most wouldn’t even believe me – this time, one of my younger friends, accused me of being a Satanist, and he said that my sheep was just my cover for me praying to Satan – I don’t understand him, he’s an atheist?


Can someone be an atheist, and still believe in Satan?




Oh, and BTW, I simply love my new computer – and thanks Satan, oops, I meant, thanks my higher-power stuffed Sheep’s-ass!

He has raised – my higher power sheep has risen:

Awhile back I wrote a post about my higher-power stuffed sheep, (sheep-us) and how as a joke, how I sometimes pray to my higher-power sheep (my higher power stuffed sheep’s ass) and how I invoke the name of my higher power sheep’s-ass, when I purchase lottery tickets and pull-tabs and the likes. I explained about how my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass and I had won a $500 pull-tab at a bar, and about the hot streak that we had with the winning scratch lottery tickets months earlier. Then about 3 months ago, I decided to put my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass to the test again, after the release of 2 new scratch tickets that I found most interesting. One of the tickets costs 5 dollars, and has an 80,000 dollar top prize, and the other ticket costs 20 dollars, and has a top prize of 1 million dollars, and I decided to start playing the games just for fun.



I have known about the inherent problems associated with gambling every since I was a teenager; and I personally believe, that there are far more people addicted to gambling, than there are people who are addicted to drugs – so back when I was a teenager, I had developed a simple strategy for managing the inherent risks of gambling (quit when I’m still ahead). So I started with 100 dollars, and after I had blessed the money in the name of my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, I purchased my first 60 dollars worth of tickets, and I won over 400 dollars - by the end of my first week, me and my higher power sheep’s-ass, had really racked up some big bucks. Our hot streak then continued for about the next 5 weeks, but then it got cold, and I had even resigned to the thought that maybe I had been a little too greedy, and my overworked higher power sheep’s-ass had now disowned me, or my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, had died or something.


Still having about 70% of the total prizes that I had won while on our hot streak, I simply decided to quit playing the lottery tickets while I was still ahead, and way ahead!


I hadn’t played the lottery tickets in over 3 weeks; however, I always retain all of the tickets that I buy so I can check them again – having dyslexia, I sometimes over look the winning tickets. Numbers like 32, I will see as 23 and 13 as 31 and so on. Then about a week ago, as I was going through a pile of about 50 tickets looking for winners that I might have overlooked, I found 2 five dollar winners, and 1 fifty dollar winning ticket that I had purchased weeks earlier – as I sat there looking at this big pile of worthless lottery tickets, I cried out loud (LOL): “Oh my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, why have thou forsaken me?”


Then about 2 hours later, I had went on a planed shopping trip to the store for food and other stuff – and as I was pushing my shopping cart past the lottery vending machine as I was exiting the store, one of the wheels on the shopping cart, started spinning around in circles, and making a sound like a sheep barking – I heard: “Baaaaa, Baaaaa, Baaaaa” so I stopped pushing the cart, and when I looked to my right, staring me right in my face, was my favorite lottery ticket – so without even a second thought, I pulled two 20s out of my wallet, and said out loud (LOL): “in the name of my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, I’m going to win money today.”


I then returned home, and about 2 hours later, I scratched the first ticket (020) and discovered that it was a 50 dollar winner, so I had won 10 dollars – I then looked at my higher power stuffed sheep’s-ass, and said out loud (LOL): “only 10 dollars, you cheap fucking sheep.” Then I scratched the other one (021), and found two 500 dollar winners on that ticket – I then spent the next few hours (LOL), praising and repenting to my sheep -- my higher-power stuffed sheep’s-ass moves in mysterious ways!