Sister Cadillac Kimberly tells it like it is about Eddie Long:

Sister Kimberly is a living testament that not all black folks are simply ignorant and mindless, fearful “Christian” sheep, who will believe almost any silly thing that they are told, and just as long as “Christ” is included, somewhere in the mix – and despite all of her Christ-speak, personally, I believe that she’s about as much of a Christian, as my left testicle is – although, I recently discovered that my right testicle was a practicing Muslim in its teen years, and before it also found enlightenment – so you just can’t never be 100% sure about these kinds of things either.   

Believers See “jesus” on Power Pole:

When I first saw this video, the first thing that popped into my mind, was those bat-shit crazy Bible-Belt Christians, had finally captured the Plant-Man from that silly sci-fi movie, and then crucified him on a power pole.      

Christian Frogs and Morality:

One morning two little tree frogs awoke on a tree branch over a pond, to the sounds of a Bigmouth-Bass jumping and splashing in the water. Gorge the frog, said to Alvin the other frog: “isn’t that the same Bigmouth fish, which devoured your mom, dad and most of your brothers and sisters?” Alvin replied: “I think so…yes, that’s him, and he’s the same greedy fish who has been eating all of our friends too!” Gorge then thought out loud: “I wish that big ugly frog eating fish, would just roll over and just fucking die.” Alvin quickly said to Gorge: “you should never say anything like that about another one of God’s creations – God might get mad at you, and never let you into heaven.” Gorge replied: “FUCK GOD; if that big ugly frog eating fish was dead, this pond would be like your heaven – and besides that fact; I don’t believe in your fucking God, anyway!” Alvin then said to Gorge: “I just don’t understand, how any frog could live without Jesus, and with all of the dangers that we face each day in our daily lives – why would anyone not accept Jesus; and besides, every frog in my family is a Christian, including me - Jesus is who keeps me alive; and I pray to him every day, and me and my family, have never missed one single Sunday Church service, in over 30,000 generations of our family - all you have to do is accept Jesus, and you’ll be saved, and then if something does happen to you, you’ll go to heaven.” Gorge replied: “can you prove any of this bullshit that you’re saying – the only things that we both know for sure are, most of your stupid Christian family, has been eaten by birds and fish, including that big ugly one down there.” Alvin then said: “maybe, but I just know that they’re all waiting for me in heaven, and when I get there, we’ll all be together again.”



As the Bigmouth Bass floated on top of the pond quietly listening to the two frogs arguing; up came hoping Alvin’s little brother, Matt. Matt said to Alvin and Gorge: “praise the Lord, and good morning guys, are there any tasty flies up there?” Gorge replied: “no Matt and we can’t get over there to our favorite Lilly-pads either - there’s a big ugly fish down there in the water that wants to eat us.” All at once, Alvin got this crazed look on his face and said: “so you want proof Gorge, watch this – hey Matt, have you said your prayers yet today?” Matt replied: “of course, I do every day before leaving home.” Alvin then said: “Matt, little brother, do you believe Jesus will protect you from that fish, if you hop over there to the Lilly-pads – there some mighty good tasting flies over there little brother.” Matt replied: “ye, yep, yes I do; in the name of Jesus, that big old ugly fish won’t mess with me.” Then he hop’s into the water and onto a Lilly-pad and starts eating flies. Then the Bigmouth Bass, still observing, first looks at Matt, (his big mouth drooling) then he looks at Gorge and shakes his head, and then he dives under the water, and as he jumps out of the pond, he knocks poor little Matt into the air, and then eats him whole in the same jump.


Gorge then said to Alvin: “what the fuck, you stupid frog – what was your ignorant ass trying to do - see if the fish was hungry or not, you just got another one of your brothers killed -- Why don’t you really prove your Christian faith to me, and jump your silly ass into the water too!” Alvin then said to Gorge: “I’m not that stupid; I haven’t said my prayers yet today!”


John

Important!! Urgent!! Warning from Jesus!! Prophecy:

This poor deluded kid in this video has some real serious mental health issues – he believes that “jesus” is talking to him, and at 5 am in the morning even – “jesus” awoke this little twerp at 5 am in the morning, just so he could rant to him, about just how disappointed he is that people here on earth, just don’t seem to appreciate all of that pain that he suffered for them, and that they don’t love him enough either (like one of those late night calls that you get from a drunk friend). And that they believe in the big bang? And all of that science stuff is simply from Satan? And “jesus,” didn’t even seem to care that the poor little twerp, needed his rest because he would be getting ready for church soon.



When I was this kid’s age, at 5 am in the morning, I would be fast asleep, and dreaming about the girls that I wanted to do – and if some fucking cosmic ghost had woke me up at 5 am, and talking that kind of deluded bullshit to me, I would have given him a real piece of my mind – and if this would had happened more than once, I would have sought psychiatric help, and with the quickness as well – one can only hope that this kid gets the help that he needs.

Jesus will be “returning” on May 21 2011 – Run for the hills!!!!

I have struggled for years, while trying to understand just why Christians are so obsessed with this paranoid notion of the end times, and why they look forward to the total destruction of the earth and mankind as we know it, and with such joy and glee. I was only a young child the first time when I heard one of these deluded and psychotic Christian morons, preaching that jesus will return on a date that he was given in some kind of dream or prophetic vision, and he would only reveal the date of jesus’ return, to those who sold everything that they owned, then gave him the money, so that he could build an underground bunker, somewhere in the side of a mountain, where they would all be safe from the earthquakes and the 900 foot tidal waves which would precede jesus’ second coming – I don’t know just how many of the people he had convinced of this total bullshit that night, although he had been traveling all around the country, and he had been preaching this bullshit in rented halls and churches for at least a few months, and he had quite a large following by the time he had made it to Seattle.

Omaha billboards herald Jesus' return in May

From the Washington Post:


OMAHA, Neb. -- A Christian group is proclaiming Jesus' return in billboards going up in Omaha and other U.S. cities for the holiday season.

Allison Warden, of We Can Know, says an analysis of Scripture shows Jesus will come on May 21. She says the billboards showing three wise men following the star of Bethlehem are meant to spur the public's interest in the Bible, not frighten anyone.


Warden says the billboards have gone up in Omaha and Nashville, Tenn. She says they're also going up in Atlanta, Bridgeport, Conn.; Detroit; Fort Wayne, Ind.; Kansas City, Mo.; Little Rock, Ark.; Louisville, Ky.; and St. Louis. They'll be up for December.


We Can Know offers resources to learn about the coming of Jesus and the end of days through its website, wecanknow.com.


This latest of Christian ignorance and delusion, took me back to the time when a local preacher had told his ignorant flock, that jesus would be returning that year, and on July 2ed – most of the little christ-tards that I knew back then, who were around my same age, (about 13 years of age, or so) were asking me if I was going to repent and accept jesus now that it was certain (per the word of this deluded-preacher) that jesus was coming back on the 2ed of July, and they told me if I didn’t repent and accept jesus, that I would burn in hell forever – I simply told them that the only thing that I would be burning that week in July would be fireworks – they all got mad as hell. They even said things like: “I hope the devil burns you real-good, and that you suffer more pain in hell, than the pain of all the other heathens combined.” – don’t you just love Christians?

Sarah Palin tells ABC’s Barbara Walters that she can beat President Obama in 2012:

Oh, sure Palin, you can beat Obama in 2012 – and on the night of your presidential inauguration, a team of well trained monkeys will fly out of your ass, while they all hum “Hail to the Chief,” and after which, they’ll all surround you, and sing a chorus of “God bless America,” and all before returning back home  into your ass, Palin – you deluded fucking moron!

We won’t be seeing the “baby jesus” inside our State Capital building this year:

It almost seems like it was just yesterday, that Fox “News,” Bill O’reilly was crying and having a hissy-fit back in 2008, over the atheist display inside the Washington State Capital building. Alongside the holiday trees, Christmas trees, a Jewish menorah and a few others, was this display sponsored by The Freedom From Religion Foundation – a placard which simply read:



"At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds."






The Christians called foul over the Governor, also allowing the atheist display, along with the Christian nativity scene, and the little “baby jesus” in the manger. The Christians cried persecution, and that the atheist sign was just another attack in the war on Christmas and Christians – some were even calling for the Governor’s (Christine Gregoire) head on a plate.


Holiday displays, which have including, displays of Santa and reindeer, are nothing new insofar as the types of stuff that has been allowed to be put on display, both inside and outside of the State Capital building. As far back as I can remember there were trees, Santa, snowmen and other types of holiday displays. Then in 2006 after a Christian (Ron Wesselius) sued the state after his request to display a nativity scene, including the little “virgin-born,” bastard “jesus” inside the Capital building was denied, the state then caved into this blatant violation of the separation between church and state, and as part of this legal settlement, then agreed to set aside certain areas within the Capital building for all types of holiday displays, including the religious ones.


From The Olympian:


But that policy produced a cacophony of displays in 2008. There was a placard from atheists mocking religion as myth and superstition, placards from religious groups poking fun at atheists, a large electric-lighted menorah and requests to put up a “Festivus pole” in honor of the mock holiday popularized by the “Seinfeld” sitcom. The controversial anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas also sought a display that said Santa would take people to hell, and another group critical of creationism wanted to depict a “Flying Spaghetti Monster” as the creator of the world.


The flood of requests prompted General Administration to declare a midholiday moratorium on displays in 2008. A policy was approved in 2009 that restricted private displays to the outdoors. The only displays that went up last year were a lighted menorah and a placard from Seattle atheists, both put up near the Tivoli fountain on the Capitol lawn; a menorah also was displayed briefly at Sylvester Park.


I believed at the time that the decision was made, in allowing this icon of delusion to be displayed inside the State Capitol building, it was a really bad idea to say the least, and a bad idea that would open up the floodgates for every other cult in the state, who wanted to convey any kind of religious messaged in a public forum.


Then after months of hearing local Christians complaining, and crying persecution over the State’s moratorium on restricting all private displays to the outdoors; I thought that this would put an end to this controversy once and for all. Then the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights president William Donohue sent a letter Oct. 27 to Gregoire announcing that he was sending a one-piece Nativity scene to her chief of staff; the State officials then flat out rejected the informal request to display it indoors, citing a policy that no longer allows nongovernment displays inside Capitol Campus buildings:


“Private exhibits and displays, such as a Nativity scene, are permitted only outside on the campus grounds, provided they meet certain conditions regarding time, place and manner,” Department of General Administration director Joyce Turner said in a letter this week to the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights in New York City.


I am fairly confident both that Washington State’s Governor will not be making any new compromises on the state’s policy of restricting all private displays to the outdoors, and confident that those who carry this mind-virus, and who have little respect for the rights of others, won’t be going away anytime soon either. Personally, I’d like to see this moratorium extended to ban all religious icons from being displayed anywhere on government property – I personally find it sad, that in the year 2010, we still have silly and ignorant people believing that a cosmic ghost fathered a baby, who was born of a virgin; when in fact, this whole silly story of Christmas and “jesus,” were both stolen from the many Pagan stories in which the sun-god, dies on the cross (in the constellation of the Cruz) on December 21, remains dead for 3 days, (pauses in the sky for 3 days) and then on December 25, starts its way back north, eventually bringing Spring, longer days, and new life (yes, the sun is the truth, the way and the light - and the giver of all life on this planet).


Grow the fuck up, Christians!


Happy season of the Winter Solstice everyone!